They're from Texas, and delicious!

I know a while back I said I felt like crispy, scooped-out potato skins. Tonight it's more like a grapefruit that's been thoroughly juiced. *Sigh* I hope I was a Ruby Red.

Bonus

Heather and me - she loves taking pictures so much, and I thought, "What the heck, there should be some sort of documentation of this anyway."

Email to Jess

Basically people are all narcissists. We're all into ourselves and our stuff. It's like Donald Miller talked about (Blue Like Jazz?) if anyone were ever to really be about other people that person would be the most different person ever.

I'm glad you brought it up, because I'm feeling pretty convicted right now. I'm so tired. Tired of this summer and of being "on" all the time. I'd go to work and have to concentrate and be "on" and then come home and have to cope with the Truth stagnating in the air at home. Never an "off" moment to just . . . sit and read my book, or be grumpy by myself. Jesus must've felt that way all the time. He'd try to pull away, and people would chase after him and he'd end up looking at them, and even though he was probably so tired his body just didn't want to anymore, he'd feel compassion for them - because they were like sheep without a shepherd. It takes something from you to feel compassion.

I talked about that in my grad school interview too, about how being there for people costs you something. I told Jabez about that too, before he left, about how some things in life are hard, and you know they're going to be hard, but you have to do them anyway. So what I usually do is try to pull myself together and hit them as hard as I can while still pacing myself if necessary. In my head it's like a battle scene, and the armies are looking at each other, and finally one guy takes a deep breath, brandishes his sword and rushes forward. That's me - I take a huge breath and let the waves of whatever it is wash over me. Then I think about that verse - I'll look it up, Ephesians 6:13 - where it talks about standing in the day of evil, and then, after you've done everything, to stand. Pretty much, I feel like I'm just standing now. My legs feel like they want to buckle underneath me, but I'm not going to. Thanks Jesus for standing with me.

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." Ephesians 6:13

Su-um-mer Nights

Yeah . . . so apparently it's been awhile. May was a long month. I actually left work one morning (after working basically 23 days in a row and swapping my sleep schedule 3 times) just really thankful that I hadn't cursed anyone out. June was kind of meh. Mostly clean-up in terms of paperwork. And now I'm in the middle of July . . . not exactly sure how I got here, but a summary of major life events would include, but not be limited to, the following:

1. I'm debt free. God is good.
2. I'm going to grad school. Not ambitiously, not in the, "Hit it hard and fast," way that I approached my undergrad, but I'm going to get my feet wet. I believe that will entail taking two classes, finding a (hopefully) nice but small apartment to live in and riding my motorcycle around watching sunsets and going for long walks. The Oregon Coast anyone? (Oh, and I need a job if anyone has any ideas - keep in mind my hair is pink, but we'll come to that.)
3. I have a motorcycle. Technically I've owned it since December. But I am now qualified to ride and ready to go. . . . As soon as I get the battery replaced. Lc: Oh, and leathers. And a helmet. Also it's in New Mexico and needs a tire replaced. Look, I'll get there okay. Safety first.
4. My hair is pink. Not all of it, and not quite as decidedly pink as it was when I first had it done. But it's still there, lingering. (It's tasteful, I promise.) I might re-do the pink part depending on jobs in Vancouver. I'd like to, but we'll see. The avant garde residents of Portland and Vancouver aren't quite as forgiving of appearances as the backwards peoples of the North. *Sigh* One thing I will miss about Alaska.
5. I got out of bed this morning. I know that won't seem like much to most of you, but for those of you who know, thanks for your prayers. We needed every single one of them.

It's now 2 am and I really do have to be to work at 1000. (That's pronounced ten-hundred and means ten o'clock for those of you not initiate into military time, where there's no confusion as to what time someone's getting in from the airport unless 575Z decides not to land in Galena and the people we in dispatch just call "resources" have to sit on the airstrip for hours in the sun waiting for an aircraft of some description to come for them. Like I said in the beginning, summer nights. . . . )

I wish I had time to tell you about the magic of sitting in dispatch (two ATCO trailers basically duct taped together for the last 30ish years) looking out on the Chena at 4am. The purples are so beautiful. I wish I had time to tell you about hiking Angel Rocks barefoot or about my Kelsa, a sweet, lovely empathetic creature with a penchant for unusual sunglasses who's basically my office-soul mate. It's indescribably rare to find someone who intuitively understands one's personal filing and organizational methods almost without explanation and who is simultaneously very pleasant to work with that you can also get work done with. Maybe you have no idea what I'm talking about, but she's a treat, I assure you. Working in an office with her is like cooking in my sister's kitchen.

I think I'm out for now. I really do have to sleep. Hopefully I can.

God keep you all.

P.S. Hebrews 12:2 - If Jesus thought it was going to be worth it, I guess he knows a lot better than I do.