from an email to my twin

The Holy Spirit has really been impressing on me lately what a tortured soul Paul was. I always felt like he was so cold and businesslike and like I had nothing in common with him. But lately, I've been thinking over a lot of the things he said . . . and . . . they really resonate with me. When he talked about living being Christ and dying gain, we think of that as a noble sentiment, but I think he might really have been saying he longed for death. We talk about Paul like he was superman, but he wasn't; Jesus was teaching him how much he would have to suffer. )c: Am I a wimp if I don't want to know?